Explaining depression is so hard, obviously living with depression is so much harder, but writing this is so hard.
To people who haven’t suffered with depression at any point, I don’t think they can quite comprehend how horrible it can be. I think too many people think that depression is just sadness, but it is so much more. It is a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, and the days pass both quickly and slowly, if that’s possible. The problem is that depression is downplayed so to speak, one reason being you see people saying ridiculous things like “I’m so depressed, I just missed my favourite TV show”. This isn’t me trying to downplay anyone’s feelings, there may well be other stuff going on, but typically people just don’t know the difference between depression and sadness.
I’ve now lived with depression for roughly 3 years and it’s been an absolutely hellish time. Sure I’ve had my ups, some days where I don’t have to force a smile; but for the main part it’s been torture. Depression is something that sneaks up on you out of nowhere, and suddenly you’re trapped and can’t get out. So many nights these last few years I fall asleep hoping I don’t wake up and many mornings crying over the fact that I did. This isn’t me trying to feel sorry for myself or seek attention, it’s just the stigma needs to be broken. I’ve also dealt with self harm problems and suicidal thoughts, I’ve spent whole days and nights crying my eyes out, but somehow I’m still here, writing this.
The stigma needs to be broken. So to anyone who is reading this and is suffering, please speak out and please get help.