Last November I moved to a new city, Southampton, for work, and moved into a new flat, living on my own for the first time. I love living in Southampton, and I absolutely love having my own place. No one to make messes, no one to be noisy, and no one to constantly annoy me. But it has brought about some whole new challenges for me to encounter.
Moving into a new city for University was extremely different. I was moving into a flat with people my age, and starting a new course with people my age, who also shared similar interests. This time the situation has changed. At work, I’m pretty much the youngest, and most people are 5, 10, 15 years older. So, socialising, already a tricky concept for me, has become more complex. Colleagues already have their own lives; marriages, kids etc, and a small percentage are in similar situations to me.
As I said, I enjoy living on my own, but the lack of company can sometimes become unsettling, lonely. Add to all that the other troubles I have to deal with in other areas of my life: the depression, the anxiety, and it’s quite common for it all to merge together into one whole mess.
I’ve always found it difficult to socialise, get out there, meet people, and my situation now has only amplified that. Living with depression and anxiety has only made all that tougher. When some days getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do, socialising isn’t high on the agenda. I’ve also never understood how people can make it look so damn easy. Everywhere I look, everywhere I turn, people seem to socialise and meet others with absolute ease, and I’ve never been able to do that.
So how can that be changed? I guess the main solution would be to just throw yourself out there into the world, talk to people, take risks. But I’ve never understood that either. People say to just go and talk to people, but no one likes the random guy who suddenly starts talking to everyone in bars, and clubs. Heck, I cannot stand those people. So, what do you do?
I guess I’m not too sure. If I do ever really find out, I will let you all know. A good idea will be to try and use the hobbies and joys to help find my way in this city. I like to go on walks, so I’ll go on rambles and find new places around the city. I like keeping myself busy and throwing myself into projects, so I’ll keep doing that, and incorporate communication within.
I’ve really enjoyed this past 7 months in a new city, in a new home, but I still feel like there’s a long way yet to go for me, still many steps to take, and I’m still definitely finding my own way.