Why is everything so bloody bleak?

I found myself scrolling through Twitter a couple of days ago just after the Roe v Wade decision came through from the Supreme Court, and suddenly thought to myself why is everything so bloody bleak? Why is it getting worse? And where on earth does this end? We seem to be on this rollercoaster cycle of news that just increases its misery and its peculiarity in a way I can’t remember.

So where did it start? Some people believe with Brexit and Trump in 2016, but it’s arguable that it was a couple of years before that. The 2014 Scottish Referendum is widely touted as being the event that started some of the abuse, and despicable behaviour we see constantly on social media these days. Even the 2015 general election seemed to continue this pattern but to a lesser extent.

If these events were the initial starting point, 2016 was the year where it took off. The Brexit referendum turned social media into a cesspit and unleashed vile views/personalities into the public that are still there now. It was the start of the idea that all you need to do to gain prominence is spout lies and right-wing nonsense because you’ll get onto shows in the name of ‘balance. We still have it today with the likes of younger commentators such as Sophie Corcoran.

The model is simple: tweet something horrible that will gain you engagement, gain followers, and delete the tweet. Repeat again and again, and suddenly you have a following willing to pander to you. It’s incredibly disheartening. Sophie’s Twitter page shows her as having tweeted 300 times, the actual number is a lot higher than that. But the problem is that it works, she is regularly on GB News, and was even recently on Good Morning Britain.

Update – Boring is Okay

There are two reasons that I’m writing this update today. The first is convenient timing, and the second is slightly odd. The first being that its mental health week and the second is that I read an amazing piece late last week on mental health was written by someone I follow on Twitter. When I read the piece and saw how they opened up their recent struggles, my first initial thought was actually that of guilt, and I tried to think why that might be.

It suddenly clicked. I’ve always been very open regarding my mental health on here and on social media and wrote many blog posts on my battles, but I realised I haven’t really talked about it at all this year, and I suddenly felt huge guilt over it. I almost felt like a bad depressive. Breaking the stigma around mental health is a cause that I feel incredibly strongly about, and I always want to write more, and I feel as though I’m not doing my bit. I think it’s because my depression has almost become very boring. But that’s not a bad thing. In fact, I’m pleased with that.

It means I’m possibly finally coping.

Just about.

It means that I’m getting through life. I’ve written pieces before where I talk about my depression as being a blur, and that perfectly sums it up at this moment. Weeks, months, and now years are just passing by without little thought, and my illness is what it is. I can’t change that, and that is perfectly fine. The problem is how I do I talk about it now, and what do I talk about? It’s almost as if it doesn’t feel right to talk about it if you’re not at your worst.

So where am I now?

I’m in an odd place, to be honest. Although I’m very much not at my worst, I’m still not in a good place. Most days are still a struggle, but I do feel as though I am getting there – heck I’m used to it now, it’s been around 7 years now in fact since my battles with depression began. I haven’t self-harmed for a few months now which is great, and worse thoughts are far and few between.

One big development in my life is at work. I had another promotion back in April and my department’s structure was reshuffled; this has meant that over the summer I have been working evenings, weekends, totalling a few hundred hours of overtime. This, alongside other projects, general life chores, and frankly ridiculous levels of stress have meant very little time for self-care and relaxation, something I really need to work on. My exercise levels and diet have also definitely taken a hit because of this, which of course in turn just makes us feel worse about ourselves.

Anyways, I’ll stop rambling on now. I think the important thing I’ve realised is that I do need to talk about this more because it will be the only way we can break the stigma. Even when there’s not much going on, and it’s a bit boring, talk about it, and if someone talks about it, listen. It’s okay to be in a boring state because it’s better than what it could be. I will take boring any day, but the fight continues, and it always will, and frankly, that’s okay.

My 2018 Highlights

Another year is over, and rather than reviewing what has been a rather quiet year I’m just going to share some of my favourite things from the past 12 months.

Things I’ve Watched
Sick of It – Karl Pilkington was back on TV, and his new one (or I should say two) man show was an absolute triumph.
A Very English Scandal – Hugh Grant takes posh to a whole new level in what was a very charming and thrilling drama from Russell T Davies.
House of Cards UK – I finally got around to watching the UK version of House of Cards, and it’s far better than the US version. I highly recommend.
Black Mirror – I finally gave Black Mirror a go in January and it didn’t disappoint. Although dystopia isn’t such a getaway from today’s world, it’s right up my street.

Things I’ve Read 
I really have not read enough this year. Must do better in 2019.
How Not to Be A Boy – Robert Webb’s book looks at the rules of being a man and tears them up. A very good, and easy read.
All Out War – A much more challenging read, as you’d expect 600 pages on Brexit to be. Tim Shipman knocks it out of the park, and I’m excited to now move onto the next instalment – Fall Out.

Concessions of a Millenial

Despite what everyone – older people – would have you believe, it’s tough being a young person in today’s world. In spite of the constant protestations of boomers that we’ve never had it better, the evidence is to the contrary. Sure, we’ve grown up around social media, the internet, increased globalisation and mobility, and we’re more connected to each other than ever before, but in so many ways we are much more disconnected and worse off than previous generations. Where past generations could seemingly have it all, we are faced with choices and concessions.

When it comes to working, competition is fierce, and job security is more uncertain is ever due to the rise of zero hour contracts and servicing jobs. We may get a bad reputation in the workplace, but the reality is that we often work long hours and have to compromise or sacrifice other areas of our lives to get ahead in the workplace. Comet, a financial intelligence business surveyed a group of young people to identify just how high their work is prioritised, and the results are stark.

41% of the respondents said they would end a relationship to get a big break or promotion at work, and for a life-changing promotion the average surveyed millennial said they would stay single for 11 years, delay marriage for 7 years and wait to have kids for 8 years. However, the same survey found that millennials are willing to make job sacrifices for a long-term relationship too, but the key theme is these choices are now a part of our lives.

Fear of Missing Out

As you log onto social media on a Friday evening you might see a fun-filled timeline. Someone might have got engaged, a lot of people have probably uploaded pictures from pre-drinks, and you might have seen that your best mate got that big promotion they wanted earlier today. What did you do? It never seems to quite compare to everyone else’s day, does it?

I think we all have that innate fear of missing out or FOMO, but some of us feel it more strongly than others. It’s the idea that people are living life better than you, experiencing things you cannot, and seeing people you couldn’t possibly meet. Nearly three-quarters of young adults say they experience this sensation, and there’s no doubting that we’re the first generation to be so highly affected. Mainly this is due to the rise of social media, and the greater insight we get into everyone’s lives.

It’s certainly not fun. It causes a vicious cycle, where despite feeling as though you’re worse off you continue to check social media again and again as to not feel out the loop. You start to check it when you wake up, before you go to bed, whilst eating your meals, in the bathroom, basically any piece of free time that you have. The problem is that this then often leads you to miss out on various other experiences because of this constant need to keep on top of things.

71% admit to making excuses to get out of social events despite feeling as though they miss out, over a third experience stress and anxiety when they do go out, and 30% feel disappointed afterwards. This can then lead the individual to believe they’re not quite doing it right, that everyone else but them has it down to a tee. But it’s okay because that epic moment is just around the corner, you’re an idiot for staying home and you’re missing out, and the process starts again.

Mental Health in the Classroom

Earlier this week was Suicide Awareness Day, a time where many talk the talk regarding helping others, speaking up, and raising awareness. Unfortunately, there clearly isn’t enough walking the walk. To understand why the mental health crisis has exacerbated, we must look to the start. A child’s schooling years are the time that can define their whole life, so surely, it’s the time to act. If physical education lessons are compulsory, why isn’t mental health?

“I have never, in over 20 years of teaching, seen pupils suffer with so much anxiety and other symptoms of poor mental health”, just the words of one teacher in a recent article from Sally Weale. Mental health issues among teenagers are rising rapidly. It’s estimated that 3 children in each classroom have a diagnosable mental health problem, and the NSPCC says that the number of referrals by schools seeking treatment for pupils has risen by a third in the past three years alone. We’re also seeing alarming rises in youngsters hurting themselves – a 70% increase among 10-14-year-olds in Britain – and 1 in 4 are experiencing suicidal thoughts.

So, what is fuelling this dramatic rise? Firstly, it’s worth noting the reasons are plentiful, and I can hardly do them all justice in a blog post, but let’s look at the main few. One overarching theme is the austerity imposed by Tory governments. Between 2010 and 2015 mental health trusts in England had £600 million slashed from their budgets, there are now 5,000 fewer mental health nurses available, and as such waiting times have doubled in the last decade. Schools have also had their purse strings tightened, with 91% facing real-terms cuts which have even led to parents at various schools being asked to donate money towards vital supplies such as stationary, books, and even toilet paper.

Brexit, the Mental Health Syndrome

If it’s somehow passed you by, we are a few months away from self-destruction. The likelihood of a no deal Brexit has drastically increased after recent events in the commons, and contingency plans are now being formed for such a scenario. Industries are planning to stockpile foods, medicines, and fuel if we crash out of the European Union, and the Army are being put on standby to ferry supplies around the country to those without easy access to such goods.

The future of healthcare after Brexit is especially precarious. The government plans to leave the single market and customs union, the arrangements that currently deliver health services, goods, and workforce to the UK. The economy will be taking a drastic hit at a time when the NHS is already chronically underfunded, and pressures are all year round. But there’s one area that doesn’t receive the amount of attention it deserves, the effect of Brexit on mental health.

Firstly, there was the decision itself. To many, the vote to leave was a complete shock and brought about feelings of insecurity due to the uncertain political, economic and personal consequences ahead. All of our lives are dependent on the future deal struck by the government, but especially so are the lives of the 3.2 million EU citizens in the UK and the 1.2 million UK citizens living or working across the EU. For two years now, their lives have been in limbo, unsure of their rights after March 2019. The UK and EU agreed in principle late last year for the same rights to apply to both parties, but a no deal Brexit would throw that out of the window.

The Coffee Shop

I stroll in at 7:30, look around and the place is empty. Absolute bliss. I get my choice of seat, any seat. Do I want to be sitting in the sun? in the shade? Hardback chair? By the window? I spend a good couple of minutes deciding in my head as my order arrives. Heaven knows what I must look like now to the girl behind the counter.

I’m back at the local coffee shop. Those who know me best will know I don’t even like coffee, but as I regularly point out, they do serve other drinks. The idea of popping out to the local Starbucks was never my cup of tea – yes, I had to throw that in – but recently I find myself doing it more and more.

Why? Consider it a form of self-care. Not the drink itself, not the walk (I do plenty of that anyway), but just being there. I live alone and know very few in the area outside of work, so my social calendar is hardly bustling. I struggle to socialise and feel incredibly uncomfortable in most social situations, that doesn’t help. Sure, I get lonely quite often. Most of the time I cope with that. I’ve got pretty used to it. This isn’t a whole pity me situation – most of the time I like the lack of people.

Is it Time to Pay More Attention to our Digital Health?

We are constantly digitally connected. We check our phones when we wake up, and we browse social media that little too long before we fall asleep. The average age a child has their first mobile phone is 10, and youngsters now use their families’ devices long before that. 50% of young people are heavy social media users, but digital gluttony is far beyond that. We now use it for shopping, banking, relationships, work, and hobbies. Without it, we would simply be lost.

The digital era has brought us benefits aplenty. It’s produced services, products, games, networking, life hacks, and has arguably both improved and streamlined our lives. Social media has been at the forefront of this over the past decade. It brings us connectivity, not just to family and friends but idols and people all over the world. It allows people to express themselves, explore their identity and interests, and interact with those who share the same interests as us. It brings empathy, builds communities, can provide emotional support, and even allows us to participate in movements. Unfortunately, the pitfalls are catching up.

Despite its benefits, we know social media can be harmful to young people and their health. Several studies have found a link between social media use and worsened mental health, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and increased suicide risk. Half of girls and two-fifths of boys have been the victims of online bullying, and 41% of Gen Z users say social media makes them sad, anxious, or depressed, with Instagram and Snapchat judged to be the most destructive. Of all the main social media websites, only YouTube was judged to have an overall positive effect.

One reason is that we all fall into the trap of comparisons, wondering why our lives aren’t as great as the people we follow. It’s easy to forget that social media is a highlight reel, a place we post our best pictures, our funniest jokes, our favourite memories. You may see someone’s holiday to Corfu and the party they attended last Friday, but you won’t see that bout of food poisoning or a pimple they just couldn’t cover yesterday. People present their perfect life, whilst hiding their real struggles. Envy has become heightened in the digital age.

A National Health Crisis

Despite all the divides across the UK, if you really want to get 99% of the British Public rallied together, dare to criticise the NHS. The NHS tops the Pride of Britain list by a sizeable margin and is unequivocally part of our national identity. So, when someone like, say, Donald Trump weighs in on the issue, the UK is quick to rally around it’s in defence. Groups like ‘NHSMillon’ and ‘People’s NHS’ everyday show support for the institution, and its popularity is great.

In 2017, the Commonwealth Fund ranked the NHS as the best, safest and most affordable system of the 11 countries it assessed. Many elements of the NHS are lauded: the quality of care and range of treatments, the staff, and of course it being free at the point of use. When Trump used protests to brief against a single-payer health system in the US, he forgot some facts. Only 10% of British voters want parts of the NHS to be privatised, and despite spending almost half of GDP compared to the US on healthcare, we achieve far better outcomes.

However, things are changing.

Public dissatisfaction with the service is now at a 10-year high. Of course, satisfaction is still high, 57% in fact, but that has fallen 6 points from 63% last year.  On the other hand, dissatisfaction has doubled since 2014. Since 2010, no country in Europe has had a worse record in health than the UK. NHS pressures are no longer confined to the winter, it’s an all-year-round crisis.